Chance Meetings

So, we decided we needed a change of pace and plopped ourselves down, at the local Randalls/Starbucks haunt, where, premises wise, I'm never quite sure what's legal to consume. Is it Randalls, or is it Starbucks?  I mean I'm use to liminal spaces, hell, I've got two Master's degrees. Graduate Students are use to living without knowing what's next. But, I worry; can I eat this Chiken Noodle soup from Randalls or should I buy from Starbucks? Usually, it takes another consumer to help me relax and enjoy my grocery soup and Starbucks mint tea. Now, I'm ready for anything.

This time, we met Wally, from Detroit. I did not want to start a conversation, because I noted my creep detector was picking up signals and try as I might to brush them off, as bad weather interference, it kept reading 'not a good idea to begin a conversation'. 
Unfortunately, my husband does not follow the same gut directions, as I do. Sure, he picks up the readings,  he just filters them, differently. 
Yet, it wasn't a total loss because,  you're about to hear how our chatting went.
Wally sat directly perpendicular to me, on my left, and had been staring at me, though, not consistently. Ergo, creep detector, first sign.  I was reading my book and Bug was typing away.
Bug, was getting up to have a smoke outside, where, he crossed the man's line of vision and started a conversation, introducing himself, and then me, telling me, later, that he'd met Wally, previously.  Wherefore, I told Bug, there's your first sign. "If he can't remember you or acknowledge having met you, then he can't see past his own nose. And is wrapped up a little to tight in his own puzzle."
We did proceed to converse, because, I am nominally curious about others and always like to learn. And, the flood gates had already been opened; thanks Bug. Plus, this weirdos been staring in my direction, so, I might as well get the scoop. And get the scoop I did. Surprise, surprise, the guys a fruitcake. You know the type. Looks pretty average, has some pretty good brain power, but, is nothing short of a few screws loose. Perhaps, it was an unreported injury to the brain or heart. Or? perhaps he was just born that way. I'm not about to spend that kind of energy to find out. He was talking about work and the troubles, therein, (sign number two; unresolved bitterness spoken as if its all 'their' fault) and exchanging words about lands we hail from and perhaps wanting to return to one-day. We conversed, mostly though, I just listened, sign number three. Sharing about company challenges of today and people not having the balls to 'tell it like it is'. But, I said that, which became my eventual out of the conversation.
Then, suddenly, a woman came out of left field and sat with him. Her hairs in curls and clutching a Basic Mathematical Applications textbook. We proceed to talk about our interests and the essentials of lifelong learning. I shared the five factors that top women CEOs defined, as factors, that got them and keep them, as top leaders.  Relating, this to my work and recent professional conference I'd attended. And, to which Wally said, "You should have gone." To his 'girlfriend'. And that's when I knew we were all in trouble. It unraveled slowly, but consistently from that point on. And, as both my husband and I tried to balance out the conversation, from being totally about how the left field woman needed heIp, we successfully split up, conversation wise, and I was able to have a decent and interesting conversation, with the curl headed woman. However, we could not keep it from crashing. The break up was occurring and we were its direct descendants. When she left, to take out her curls and go to a party he was not invited to attend with her, he was visible deflated, though more in spirit: It could have been easily missed. The conversation started again, eventually, and his diatribe about her and his relationship poured out, even more. My only advice was around the theme of take care of yourself, Wally.
He seemed to get it because he got busy on his computer and the staring ceased. During the diatribe, I kept thinking,  I'm gonna have to wrap this up, but how? Frankness worked. "I can't talk about someone who is not here. You nor I can change anyone else. I got my own shit to deal with, as do we all. Take care, Wally." Life is interesting, is it not? Its nice to meet those mirrors that remind us,  'We're all loosers, sitting in restaurants, trying to figure out how we got here and how were gonna get back home'. Like I told Wally, we're all connected, and though I may not have given you what you wanted, I managed to meet you. Good luck.

View for Bridge of Spies

I love a good visual story just like all of us do and honestly I never lost interest throughout, Bridge of Spies.  Thanks to master filmaker Steven Spielberg, we get to go back nearly 60 years in history and reinterpret and reimagine what may have happened, for real. Entirely believable in his humble negotiating and living out of authentic American principles set forth in our Constitution, the right for a human being, to have due process of law. In determining a criminal offense. The burden of proof, for any conviction, lies in the hands, of the prosecution and the authorities must act, with due process. However, argues mostly everyone, in espionage, the rule book goes out the window. But, not for James Donovan, played by Tom Hanks, an Irish American, who knows how to talk his point and stand on it, while taking a beating, from both personal and public arenas. 
And just when you think he's been beat, American pilot Gary Powers gets shot down and miraculously survives, landing into dreaded enemy territory. Just what the US didn't want. Ushering in the need for negotiations.
Speilberg, through Donavan's character, played by Tom Hanks, reminds us that the descent into uncivilized national behavior is rather easy, with fear and not taking personal responsibility for your actions, playing the largest part. "We must do what our governments can't do" is how Donavan operated, in the story.  And he took risks in doing this negotiating, through Wolfgang Vogal, played by Sebastian Koch, and Otts young secretary Max Mauff, as well as, Russias' nonreprestentative. So that until everyone lands on the Bridge of Spies, no one knows whether or not human decency will win. In the end, even Rudolf Abel, played by Mark Rylance, will live, after being exchanged. And Fredrick Pryor, played by Austin Stowell, will continue to teach economics and later consult with world banks, another dicey business, like studying communist economics in West Berlin, during the Cold War. The makings of experiential wisdom.
For me it's always a story, with a theme of human justice, that gets a gold star!!!

Beginnings and Endings

The cycles in life can feel ferocious and these cycles can seem to bind us to a life of unwanted change. We think we'll always be together and that we'll never part. In life there is a constant theme of departure and arrival. This is a truth; everything changes. Seasons come and go. Night and day dance their circular motions, with a travel though space that revolves and rotates, as well as, expands.  So, no space is ever exactly the same. That's why we can never go home and once a child goes off to college they do not return. And why every creature is a miracle of time and space. Take a deep breath; recognize the depth of each moment. And live,  now.

Travellers

In the middle of a busy airport people can rest only for a time before they must depart again. The transitioning is quick, the movements are sharp and the hope is singular; get me to my destination, ASAP.  Smelling the roses and enjoying the moment are states of consciousness that do not exist here and will not be tollerated. The airport is an in-between state of neither here nor there and the only purpose of time is for your next connection. Smiles and kindness are fleeting and rare, saved only for the good surprises of home. If you want to pass through here then you have alot to learn. So then, be prepared to learn something new, and on your mark, get set, go go go.....

Goodbye

How do you say goodbye to a friend so true; this is the mystery of life. Someone who loves you and cherishes you at just the right time. In the moment of greatest need she fits in the empty places you didn't even realize were there and fills them with light and laughter; quiet times and tears. Thank you for your eternal friendship momma. Love you always and forever.

Quest

From the beginning, it seems we want assurances that our hopes truly matter. The wounded ones remember and call forth from beyond; together we nurture the mysterious power to rise up and change what is, by releasing what no longer works. There are lessons in this life; treat everyone with respect and listen with a critical ear. No one can hold the corner of the market forever. We all quest for answers and for peace.

Tender Lives

We swim
Half naked
In waves too deep
And water that stings
But sometimes
You find water holes that
Refresh

This Morning

I had to get there. Waking early, knowing that I needed the tender coolness of a Maine morning, I sat on my parents small porch. And I found it. In the trees, tall as giants, they shook with a light breeze.  The air was cool, but not unbearable.  It was not the heat of Texas, but on the northern edge of summer; different.  Quiet presence of a place I haven't been in awhile. Water and clean air rode soft and gentle around and with breath in my body. I sat and rested simply aware of my gratitude for this place.
Where do you go to release the demons to find solace. Even wood nymphs know and relinquish.  Perhaps it is the present nature of change. The transitioning potentials that linger for a moment mid way, understanding the beautiful and deadly within and without. Never static, but in it's timeliness eternal.
We live to let go and that is all. We live and release present before uncertainty but change. Breathe and know.
Through the trees I began to see sky. It was the light that caused me to move. Called me to leave my spot among kin and see. The ocean lay still beneath a glowing orb, so bright I could not see it. But only fathomed its beauty.  Clouds allowed better visions, and framed pictures of sea and sky, light and darkness. And the people swarmed to walk its edges. Suited fisherman and surfers licked the edges of the Atlantic aware and unaware of its immensity.  Again for the beauty that surrounds, I am grateful.

How Do We Do This

I remember getting gifts from my parents that required assembly. You'd think we were planning a battle. Dad would get his glasses, make all sorts of sounds, recognizable and not so much. We'd sit down on the floor and look at the thing. Picking up its pieces and putting them down. Then he'd ask "where are the instructions." And mom would bring it to him. He'd Swear curse more with heavy sighs and silence.  He'd be reading. Then you'd here. "Oh Ok.. this goes here."  More sounds a few swears but less so. Inevitably there'd be those mysterious leftovers. But the play would begin. Although, looking back, it was all play.
Folks have compared life to the instruction manual.  And how it doesn't come with any. But I think religion tries, in its own faulty way, to point us to what we could create, with help. Honestly, I think its the love that makes a father or mother finally read the instructions and that is the true instructions.  How do we do this? We care enough to try. Thank you mom and dad!

Life pursuits

Tomorrow we travel once again to visit family. It's always a challenge to get ready. But I know we'll have a good time. Hell even Dannys afoot.

Flight

Airport Art

I love airport art. I really do. But then again I like allota art:)
Airport are a different zone though. Things feel more 'special'
Food, books, shirts. Even Texas Pralines. I almost bought a box thinkin 'someone in Maine needs these'
Anyway, I didn't buy them. Sometimes I'm smart like that.
But really, even time is 'special' hours are minutes and days are gone in a wisp. Time changes and everything becomes relative. 
That's where food comes in. The choices of food in airports seem so glamorous.  Even a burger fries and beer. Hot damn its good. The price..not so much.
35bucks on the credit card.
So I got frustrated at the security line. Anyone relate?
This guy in front of me..I could tell it was trouble. He had two buckets with nothin in um. He was alow as molasses.  Taken shoes off. There was only one bin left. So I grabbed one from the other line and got a look from the gaurd.  No matter how much you get ready the amount of undressing and revealing seems never enough.
And for some odd reason they had to check my ankles.
Finally we got through, but I noticed a back up of empty bins.  And the slow guy was still getting dressed. The line was beginning to bunch and a couple of sockless wonders were now to my right.
So I just looked at the guy and shared. Didnt think youd have to get undressed ag as in this early f id ya
With a pat on the back. He an I smiled. He returned, 'I cant even get up this early anymore. I coulndt think of hurting anyone.' I smiled and chuckled in agreement cslugging my stuff off the conveyor belt. Then for added measure I gathered the backup of bins consolidating into towers.
I noticed one man pushing a cart stacked with bins rushing to the beginning of the conveyor belt.
Thats when I threw my bag down on the conciliatory 'made it' bench. Whose helping him. I thought. So much fuckin security and so little thought of process. Give me a break;)

Airport Lounge

Well, that was interesting.  Could not sleep after 330am.  I was just awake.
I remembered a flight I took home a few years ago. It was when they first started using the xray machines. There was like a three hour back up and I inevitably missed the flight. Like just. I saw the plane leaving the gate and my heart sank.
So, of course I thought, 'That cannot happen today'!
Neptune is coming to Boston and the second flight that will leave Houston Hobby  at 930am, will be one of the last ones allowed into Boston...so my 330am mind thought.
And now I'm sitting at the airport with an hour to wait.
;

Fyi

It is currently 2 degrees Fahrenheit in Portland Maine.

Night Night

T - 8 hrs. The next blizzard is not due till Sunday...starting late Sat..good thing I changed flight. I do want to get there. And we'll see about what Boston is like:)
See you tomorrow. .early

Snow Trek

T- 53 hrs to snow land;) more travel logs to come ;)