So, we decided we needed a change of pace and plopped ourselves down, at the local Randalls/Starbucks haunt, where, premises wise, I'm never quite sure what's legal to consume. Is it Randalls, or is it Starbucks? I mean I'm use to liminal spaces, hell, I've got two Master's degrees. Graduate Students are use to living without knowing what's next. But, I worry; can I eat this Chiken Noodle soup from Randalls or should I buy from Starbucks? Usually, it takes another consumer to help me relax and enjoy my grocery soup and Starbucks mint tea. Now, I'm ready for anything.
This time, we met Wally, from Detroit. I did not want to start a conversation, because I noted my creep detector was picking up signals and try as I might to brush them off, as bad weather interference, it kept reading 'not a good idea to begin a conversation'.
Unfortunately, my husband does not follow the same gut directions, as I do. Sure, he picks up the readings, he just filters them, differently.
Yet, it wasn't a total loss because, you're about to hear how our chatting went.
Wally sat directly perpendicular to me, on my left, and had been staring at me, though, not consistently. Ergo, creep detector, first sign. I was reading my book and Bug was typing away.
Bug, was getting up to have a smoke outside, where, he crossed the man's line of vision and started a conversation, introducing himself, and then me, telling me, later, that he'd met Wally, previously. Wherefore, I told Bug, there's your first sign. "If he can't remember you or acknowledge having met you, then he can't see past his own nose. And is wrapped up a little to tight in his own puzzle."
We did proceed to converse, because, I am nominally curious about others and always like to learn. And, the flood gates had already been opened; thanks Bug. Plus, this weirdos been staring in my direction, so, I might as well get the scoop. And get the scoop I did. Surprise, surprise, the guys a fruitcake. You know the type. Looks pretty average, has some pretty good brain power, but, is nothing short of a few screws loose. Perhaps, it was an unreported injury to the brain or heart. Or? perhaps he was just born that way. I'm not about to spend that kind of energy to find out. He was talking about work and the troubles, therein, (sign number two; unresolved bitterness spoken as if its all 'their' fault) and exchanging words about lands we hail from and perhaps wanting to return to one-day. We conversed, mostly though, I just listened, sign number three. Sharing about company challenges of today and people not having the balls to 'tell it like it is'. But, I said that, which became my eventual out of the conversation.
Then, suddenly, a woman came out of left field and sat with him. Her hairs in curls and clutching a Basic Mathematical Applications textbook. We proceed to talk about our interests and the essentials of lifelong learning. I shared the five factors that top women CEOs defined, as factors, that got them and keep them, as top leaders. Relating, this to my work and recent professional conference I'd attended. And, to which Wally said, "You should have gone." To his 'girlfriend'. And that's when I knew we were all in trouble. It unraveled slowly, but consistently from that point on. And, as both my husband and I tried to balance out the conversation, from being totally about how the left field woman needed heIp, we successfully split up, conversation wise, and I was able to have a decent and interesting conversation, with the curl headed woman. However, we could not keep it from crashing. The break up was occurring and we were its direct descendants. When she left, to take out her curls and go to a party he was not invited to attend with her, he was visible deflated, though more in spirit: It could have been easily missed. The conversation started again, eventually, and his diatribe about her and his relationship poured out, even more. My only advice was around the theme of take care of yourself, Wally.
He seemed to get it because he got busy on his computer and the staring ceased. During the diatribe, I kept thinking, I'm gonna have to wrap this up, but how? Frankness worked. "I can't talk about someone who is not here. You nor I can change anyone else. I got my own shit to deal with, as do we all. Take care, Wally." Life is interesting, is it not? Its nice to meet those mirrors that remind us, 'We're all loosers, sitting in restaurants, trying to figure out how we got here and how were gonna get back home'. Like I told Wally, we're all connected, and though I may not have given you what you wanted, I managed to meet you. Good luck.
