Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuce

I really am not sure what captivated me most about seeing Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band live in Dallas this past Tuesday April 5th 2016. He seemed tired of the old hymns and I felt a deep sadness in the way we each couldn't let go of what was before this time. Still so much justice to accomplish.  I wonder if his poetic lyrics work as salve on the wounds we still carry as a nation who struggles to pay laborers a living wage. Working three jobs to keep an apartment I still have my engorged vein on my right foot from workin part time jobs. Hurricane Ike hit our little island of Galveston September 13th 2008. Washed up onto Austin Shores we've experienced Urban Gentrification as the historical black East Austin is being changed by developers priced out of homes. Communitys are rallying around powerful truths. This is our home your changing.  Inspiration to stand up for what is not lost and never forgotten, we all are supposed to think about each other not take from each other. This is what moved me about Bruce.

Forgiveness

The hardest thing in life is to face our personal failures.  I like to keep up an illusion of my innocence and perfection.  Especially to my own mind where that battle rages. I do not like to hold direct responsibility for my life and my limitations. I think this is about that deep sense of not enough. I have fought the urge to succumb to not living enough, not being enough, not doing enough not accomplishing enough. As if there is an actual reality out there of my enoughness.  To go with the flow comes with much resistance.

Ocean Sounds

I hear the constant roar of the sea tonight and the other night too, though I didn't know. Long Sands Beach is about a mile away, or less, and we're 73 feet above sea level here, on the second floor, where my parents apartment sits. 
I can hear the traffic, on I-183, in Austin, at night. I had thought when I heard the sea the other night it might have been I-95. But nope it's the mighty Atlantic. Gosh, do I feel small.
It is echoing with a powerful constant rushing sound that seems endless. Loud, but not where it makes your eardrums ring. Ominous, mysterious, distant, and close it reminds me of its vastness, as well as, its wild untameable power.
The sea is rough tonight.
I'm so grateful my parents and I listened together and could hear the sound. It seemed a comfort to us on the eve of my departure. Like a reminder that we are all in nature's path. We sleep now, together, in her bosom. Incapable of stopping any part of her. And so we all rest dear children of the earth. Sleep, pray, rest for you are always and forever a part of me and I am here.